Give God the Pieces

"The best way to heal a broken heart is to give God all the pieces". 

It is very hard for me to believe that it has already been a year since our last foster child went home. I am reminded this week of all of our precious memories that we had with him. We have spent the past few days sharing these memories with each other as we look through the photos. This past year has been hard for me. As a Mom, I think we just experience things differently than others. When we love a child (our birth children or foster or adopted children) we love with our whole heart. Loving with our whole heart is exactly the way that God commands us to love, but boy do we set ourselves up for tremendous heartbreak!

 I cried for weeks before he left, cried the day he left, and have cried SO many times during this last year that I have lost count.  I cried just today as I was considering this blog and what I would write as I remembered and thought about him. I thought about all the times that I had to get up in the night to care for him. Whether it was to ease his pain from a bad dream, clean up his bed and comfort him while he was sick, or walk him through some of his various other struggles. Those were tough moments but they are still memories and they are things I will never forget.

 I thought about the smiles, laughs, hugs, and firsts with him. I thought about how he called me "Mom" and when he did for the first time, it melted my heart! I thought about how our youngest son and him were like twins and the sadness that he has had missing him over the past year. 

Then, I spent some time wondering was it worth it? All of the hard things, the good things, and the pain in the loss and grieving. Was all of that worth it? Where do we go from here? Why do we do this job?

The answer is so clear! Of course we do! We do this job because this is what the Lord has called us to do. We do this job because there are still so many children who need us. We do this job because it is worth it, all of it is worth it to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to love those less fortunate who need us. 

Time will continue to heal our pain and even though we still have days that we can say, "we miss him". We carry on because we know God will heal us and has a perfect plan for these children and for our family. So, as we reflect and remember the good, the bad, and the hard parts I also remember and keep reciting our "Foster Care Verse":

 I Corinthians 15:58 "Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord".