Give God the Pieces

"The best way to heal a broken heart is to give God all the pieces". 

It is very hard for me to believe that it has already been a year since our last foster child went home. I am reminded this week of all of our precious memories that we had with him. We have spent the past few days sharing these memories with each other as we look through the photos. This past year has been hard for me. As a Mom, I think we just experience things differently than others. When we love a child (our birth children or foster or adopted children) we love with our whole heart. Loving with our whole heart is exactly the way that God commands us to love, but boy do we set ourselves up for tremendous heartbreak!

 I cried for weeks before he left, cried the day he left, and have cried SO many times during this last year that I have lost count.  I cried just today as I was considering this blog and what I would write as I remembered and thought about him. I thought about all the times that I had to get up in the night to care for him. Whether it was to ease his pain from a bad dream, clean up his bed and comfort him while he was sick, or walk him through some of his various other struggles. Those were tough moments but they are still memories and they are things I will never forget.

 I thought about the smiles, laughs, hugs, and firsts with him. I thought about how he called me "Mom" and when he did for the first time, it melted my heart! I thought about how our youngest son and him were like twins and the sadness that he has had missing him over the past year. 

Then, I spent some time wondering was it worth it? All of the hard things, the good things, and the pain in the loss and grieving. Was all of that worth it? Where do we go from here? Why do we do this job?

The answer is so clear! Of course we do! We do this job because this is what the Lord has called us to do. We do this job because there are still so many children who need us. We do this job because it is worth it, all of it is worth it to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to love those less fortunate who need us. 

Time will continue to heal our pain and even though we still have days that we can say, "we miss him". We carry on because we know God will heal us and has a perfect plan for these children and for our family. So, as we reflect and remember the good, the bad, and the hard parts I also remember and keep reciting our "Foster Care Verse":

 I Corinthians 15:58 "Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord".

WATSIT2U?

 I was in the attic putting away Christmas decorations and I found an old license plate that said, "WATSIT2U". I got this at a Clay Walker concert back in the 90's. Any of you who knew and loved country music back in the 90's will remember the lyrics to that Clay Walker song. "I know what love is, what's it to you"? I shared with my kids the memories about that concert and what the tag meant, and began to think about those eight characters. What is love to me? What is my life to me? What are my values to me? What are my children to me?

As this new year begins, I am faced with a decision. Excuse or healthy choice? Watsit2u? I can choose to stay inside where it is warm or head out for my run. I can choose to let my children get away with telling lies or discipline them so they will learn that lying is not going to be tolerated. I can choose to eat an extra slice of pizza or just stick to the portion size that I know is more than enough. I can choose to be unloving to my husband or to show him the love and respect he deserves. It is so easy to make excuses and accept those excuses as the right or healthy decisions in our lives. If we continue to do that, we will not be the person (or create the little persons) we want. We should strive each day to make the right and healthy decisions instead of the lazy and easy excuses.

If we want to be healthy, we have to choose to eat healthier and make a point to exercise. If we want to raise godly children, we have to choose to discipline our children. If we want a healthy and loving marriage we have to work on our marriage. Marriage is NEVER easy! I am finding that as I ask the Lord to help me make these decisions each day, He then comes along side of me to help me in these areas. We all slip back into old habits and it is okay to just start over.  I decided I needed a "re do" in 2015. I let 15 pounds slip back on and had let other bad habits creep back into my life. We can choose TODAY to make our life better. My life to me is one where I am happy, healthy, loving the Lord, my husband and my family. Watsit2u?

I Corinthians 6:20- "You were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."